Thursday, August 25, 2011

Rough Aunties


I've been wanting to blog about this film since I saw it, but I needed to let it sink in for a bit longer before I could sit down and write. Even now I'm hesitant to talk about it because I'm not sure I can do my feelings justice or articulate just how incredible an experience it was to watch it.

Note: I consider myself no movie critic or reviewer, so this is just me articulating my thoughts and feelings on a film I saw. Take it for what it's worth.

"Rough Aunties" is a documentary about an organization called Operation Bobbi Bear, which was founded by Jackie Branfield in the early 90s in South Africa. The organization is made up of many hard-working staff and volunteers, but the movie focuses on 5 women in particular, who are called the Rough Aunties. The organization exists to rescue and uphold the rights of sexually abused children, minimize their risk of HIV infection, and help them towards wholeness.

The documentary doesn't involve interviews nor narration, but simply observes these women as they work, whether it's a group raiding the home of an abused child, a woman and child one-on-one talking about the child's experience of sexual abuse, or the Rough Aunties together discussing their passion for what they do, and also their frustration with what they see and how hard it is to deal with some of the things they are witness to. This laissez-faire documentary approach really allows the women to speak for themselves.

What stood out for me was the strength of the Rough Aunties. All of them were very serious about their work and, from what I saw, absolutely incredible at what they do. Some of the things the viewer sees/hears are devastating; who wants to hear about a sweet, innocent child being abused - verbally, sexually, emotionally, physically??? However, these selfless women sit with the children, help them express their stories, and work to take (some of) their pain away, then having to release some of that pain themselves. Just watching the film was hard for me, so the thought of dealing with that on a daily basis is just beyond my imagination... I wish I was that strong, and I'm just so in awe of these women who are helping these children. It's absolutely inspiring!

Another thing that stood out for me was the approach of the Rough Aunties in their one-on-one's with children. Each Auntie was different, of course, but what they all did was have physical contact with the children... they hugged them, held them close... Not to get really heavy here, but I feel like in North America there's such a reluctance to be in physical contact with other people in therapy/social work, etc. I don't know much about it all, but for whatever reason it's deemed inappropriate or harmful. In the film it seemed that the children didn't want to let the Aunties go; that hugging them gave the children all the strength and joy in the world; that they felt cared for and safe and comfortable. I thought that was so beautiful, and I really respected that approach.

Lastly was the way the Aunties themselves handled the situations. They took in all this horrible information from the kids; hearing their horrifying stories and learning the details of their abuse. You could tell they were just emotionally spent after one-on-one's, but they didn't compartmentalize their emotions. Of course they have to keep their emotions in check to some degree, but their passion fuelled their ability to help, so they didn't hesitate from showing anger or sadness about the many cases of abuse. Of course, they didn't show that to the children, in order not to upset them, but among one another they shared their stories in a therapeutic catharsis; acknowledging their feelings about it, sharing them with one another, relating, and then, I suppose, perhaps letting a little of it go. They also laughed with one another, cried with one another, and created amongst one another a community of shared passion and experience, continuing to strengthen their abilities to achieve their organization's mission.

So those are my thoughts, for what they're worth. Please watch the film as I think it's an important one to see and really well done!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Curve Ball

Here are two of my favourite things about life:
  1. It can throw you a curve ball.
  2. You can completely surprise yourself.
Sometimes these things happen at the same time and the results are wonderful! Has this ever happened to you? Something crazy happens... crazy in that it impacts your life somewhat seriously, shifts your life in a different direction, changes your view of the future, etc.... and you expect one reaction of yourself but get another. You wake up every morning expecting to feel a certain way, but still, you feel another.

It's a bizarre feeling! In the past, this situation would've completely rocked you; your life would've totally gone to crap for a period of time... at least that what your history of situations like this tells you. Aren't precedents supposed to mean something?

But a lot can happen over time, combined with certain factors that are different this time around, and - especially - combined with a ME that is different. When all of those things fall into place at the right time, even a significant life change can't shake you, and suddenly when you expect yourself to break down, you actually get stronger... life gets better... things change for the best!

It doesn't mean you didn't care about what happened, it just means you were ready for it, and now there's lots to be excited about!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Girls On Film

I really like the latest H&M commercials. Something about them.



Then I realized...

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

s08e04

I watched episode 4 of the current season of "Entourage" a second time around and realized I hadn't checked in on S&G with my thoughts... I might've missed out on posting on ep. 3 as well. Anyway, without further ado...

I thought/think ep-4 was fantastic!! I found out today that Jerry Ferrara a.k.a. "Turtle" wrote the episode along with creator/producer/writer Doug Ellin. I love that! Kevin Connelly a.k.a. "E" directs episodes and Turtle writes them... I love HBO. Such a collaborative broadcast community. It's not TV, you know...

Anyway, I thought the ep brought things back to where they used to be. The essence of the show has always been the 4 friends, and though their group has grown, it's back to that sense of friendship, loyalty, etc. I love that!

Only 4 more episodes left. 1/2-way done. Say it ain't so...

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Try not to cry.

Thank you to my bestie R. for this delicious recording. It's a good one to fall asleep to, or cry on the couch to. Either way, it's stunning. If you listen to it with me, please ask me to explain a particular phrase that makes me weak in the heart.



Beautiful.

Speak to it, Miss Paula

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Blue skies are coming.

Happy 302nd post, Sugar & Gravy!!!

In other news, this is my anthem for the week:



Enjoy!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

rc-3: A new book in my top 5

In case you forgot... Sugar & Gravy's Reading Challenge #3 a.k.a. rc-3 is to read 20 books in the year 2011. I am now 7.5 months into the year and as of 15 minutes ago have read 12 books. With 8 books to go and 4 months to read them, I'd say I'm doing just fine!

Book #12 was The Help by Kathryn Stockett. At least on my mini-feed, this book has been receiving a lot of attention. 4/6 of my family members have read it, a few friends have, too, or are in the process of reading it right now... it's a popular book! On top of that, the movie's coming out super soon... or did it come out yesterday? I can't remember. Anyway, it's coming out soon.

It seems a hot topic is how the movie is going to be. Is it going to do the book justice? Will it turn the novel into another "white lady saves the po' black women" movie? Will the masses, with their infinite lack of wisdom, take the wrong message from the movie when the book's message was so powerful?

I have no idea.

Here's what I do know: the novel was beyond fantastic!!! It was one of the best works of fiction I've ever read. I look back (see below) at the list of books I've read so far this year, and The Help beats them all by far (and they were all great)! I think it's right up there in my top 5 along with She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb. It's not just because there's an important message. It's not just because the writing is so nuanced. It's because it's a fantastic story! It's because the characters are so wonderful, and wonderfully flawed, and real, and endearing. I just... loved it!!!

So, rc-3 -- it's going well! On to the next one!
  1. Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
  2. The Girls by Lori Lansens
  3. Live from New York by Tom Shales & James Andrew Miller
  4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
  5. The Divinity Gene by Matthew J. Trafford
  6. 38 Witnesses: The Kitty Genovese Case by A.M. Rosenthal
  7. I Met the Walrus by Jerry Levitan
  8. Saturday by Ian McEwan
  9. Bossypants by Tina Fey
  10. Animal Farm by George Orwell
  11. No Great Mischief by Alistair MacLeod
  12. The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Anyway, I should get back to watching "Jersey Shore". Finishing The Help and then watching "the Shore" seems so wrong... oh well! Pump your fists!!!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Tompkins

I can't remember if I've ever blogged about Mike Tompkins, so I will now.



I love Mike Tompkins! I believe he was originally recommended to me by sister-of-GF, and I will be forever grateful. I think he's so talented and creative and charming, and I love the covers. He's also Canadian. Go Mike!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Great Weekend / Discovering T.O. #3

Another lovely weekend in Sugar & Gravy land... would you care to hear about it?

Friday:
  • Enjoyed some awesome delivery sushi from Sushi Supreme! I got the Sushi Bronze meal. YUM!!!
  • Went for a long overdue visit to the Village and grabbed some casual drinks with friends at the Churchmouse and Firkin. Got some nachos w/ spicy beef + calamari, too. Zero complaints.
Saturday:
  • Went grocery shopping and then made vegetable, guac, and salsa-filled tortillas with GF. So delicious!!!
  • We enjoyed the tortillas while finishing up GF's first viewing of my favourite television series ever: Six Feet Under. It's taken her 2 years to finish it, but she really powered through at the end and, if nothing else, her uncontrollable sobs told me that she was moved by the ending. I cried, too. This show never ceases to move me.
  • After an afternoon of food & SFU, we headed to an area in Toronto that I can't say I've spent much time in, if any: Jane & Sheppard. A good friend of mine spent a year in Ghana not too long ago, and has been searching the city of Toronto for some authentic Ghanaian food ever since. GF & I accompanied her and some other friends to a restaurant that you might miss if you weren't planning to head there: Panafest Sport Bar & Restaurant. I've never had Ghanaian food before, so I can't testify to its authenticity, but I can tell you that I've still never met a food that I didn't enjoy. I ordered the fufu - a big bowl of really hot & spicy soup with a big ball of fufu in the middle. Fufu - from what I've been told - is boiled starchy vegetables and plantains, pounded with a mortar and pestle. To me it was kind of a combination of mashed potatoes and dough. The important thing was that it was good!!! The custom is to eat with your hand, so even though I was offered a spoon, I wanted to eat in the real way! More than just eating with your hand, you want to eat with your right hand - definitely not your left. So that's what I did! You basically reach into the bowl, tear off part of the fufu, and kind of use it as a spoon, dipping it into the soup and popping it in your mouth. It was really amazing!!! What I wasn't able to eat there, I brought home, and it was pretty good the next day, too! A fun and interesting experience, and another food I enjoy!
Sunday:
  • Met up with my bestie John at Osgoode station, and took the streetcar west to Ryerson Ave. to see a musical at Theatre Passe Muraille. What musical, you ask? We saw Long Dark Night, my friend Mark Shyzer's musical comedy satire of the film noir genre. Ambitious, I know, but as usual Shyzer delivered with a cleverly written, hilariously exaggerated, and just plain funny musical! I'm so glad I got a chance to see it!
  • From there we hurried off to lunch (I was so hungry) at Fresh on Spadina. We started with spring rolls and then both had the Beach Bowl. So delicious! I was full after, but not bloated, just full of delicious, healthy, fresh food.
  • Then we lazily made our way down Queen St. back to University. We stopped in lots of stores, including H&M, Urban Outfitters, and Black Market. I got two dresses at H&M and a new pair of shoes at UO.
So - as you can see, it was a FABULOUS weekend!!! Enjoyed more Toronto delights, got out and about, and spent time with people I love.

Who's visiting?